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“No” is a word that has been recurring in my thoughts. Some say we use it more and more as time goes by. We start off by saying yes to everything, and then that impulse begins to fade. This happens in many areas of life. On a personal level, we say yes to every new experience during our teenage years. Saying no to a friend’s suggestion is unthinkable and those negative responses are entirely reserved for challenging parental authority. At the beginning of our professional lives, we tend to keep the same approach. Everything feels like an opportunity, so we feel the need to accept it all. We don’t know if that one thing might be the opportunity. These “yeses” can bring positive things, don’t get me wrong, but their unchecked accumulation easily (and inevitably) starts to affect other areas of our lives. At first, we ignore this phenomenon, labeling those areas as secondary. But over time, as we gain more experience, we look back and realize that opportunities or financial gain aren’t everything. We notice we were happier back when we had a more flexible schedule; or that it's far more rewarding to play with our children while being fully present than to keep sneaking peeks at work emails. And for that, we need to learn how to say no. Setting boundaries from the get-go is half the battle: saying that we’ll only respond to requests during working hours; letting the whole team know that notifications are off during the weekend - these are just a few examples. At the same time, we should treat others the same way. If we’re sending an email that might interfere with someone’s downtime, why not schedule it for a more appropriate time the next day? Of course, unsolicited requests or invitations will always pop up. Here’s a trick I heard years ago on a podcast and still use every day: when evaluating a situation, rate it from 0 (absolutely don’t want to do it; not interested at all) to 10 (nothing would make me happier; it’s essential to me). The twist? You’re not allowed to use the number 7. We don’t want our lives to be a string of 6s (or worse!). Let’s start saying “no” more often and collecting 8s, 9s, and 10s instead. That’s what truly matters. Have a great week! João Pedro Neto
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